I resisted the urge to lay in bed, sleep a little longer, scroll on my phone. I got up, made a coffee, went to put the washing out on the line (then realised the load I put in yesterday didn’t actually wash, damn it) then I did go back to bed. But with good intentions.
I grabbed my iPad and decided to look for an O.A. meeting I could join at 9am.
I missed my usual meetings yesterday and felt a bit frustrated but joined one at 9:15pm.
The usual meetings are at 11am or 12:15 which can cause an issue at the weekend because it means we can’t really go out anywhere so I wanted to find one that fits with our lives, and also sets me up nicely, and positively, for the day.
Sometimes it can be hard to find a group where you feel like you fit. For me I have to feel comfortable and to feel connected to those within the group.
I found that this morning.
I planned to just listen as it was my first time in this group.
I ended up sharing. This time, without notes. I just shared. I needed to.
When you see the faces of others supporting you it lifts so many of the heavy feelings you feel.
They support me. They understand me.
This is my community. This is my home.
I wrote in my journal, a daily practice that is now such a big part of my routine.
4 pages today. Of free writing. Just letting it all flow out.
After that I did some housework and just after 12 said to the boys "Lets go out for a walk". They asked where we'd go and I said "I don't know, I just want to go and see some pigs".
After having a good morning following the meeting and journaling I had this real urge to go and see some pigs.
Pigs are my spirit animal. I love them so much.
My mum had sent me a video of some she saw in a field last week and I asked her where it was. She sent me the rough location on Google maps so I knew sort of where I was going.
Oh my goodness, there were so many! Big mummy pigs, and LOADS of piglets.
I was in my happy place. I did my usual thing of talking to them, something my fiance accepts about me. I will always tell an animal that "I love your babies" if there are baby animals with her. My boys though, I don't think they appreciated me talking to the pigs.
I stood for a while just watching them. Feeling calm. Definitely thinking about how I could take one home but then also that it wouldn't work because I wouldn't know what to feed them so resisted the urge to steal a piglet.
We then went to a local Crystal shop and bought some incense sticks and cones, then went to a couple of garden centres to try and find some Cacti for the house but failed and then went to a pub we've never visited. We sat in the garden and played word association, then another game I have. "You have a roast dinner but can only have 5 things, what 5 things are you choosing?" (Also then add in pizza and 5 toppings, 5 things from a Chinese/Indian etc). Charles purposefully has his eyes closed in this photo, he wants every photo to look like he was blinking....)
After popped to the supermarket for cat food but I pointed out a hair dye to Harry. "I've always wanted to try this colour" I said to him. "If it's something you've always wanted to do then you should do it!".
Purchased, home, hair dye on. Nervousness kicks in. Relaxing bath, colour washed off, hair dried and styled and I LOVE IT.
Dinner, chores, relax.
What a wholesome sunday.
