In 2011 I started blogging as a way of feeling less lonely being a mum of a toddler and a newborn. It brought me relief, a new hobby which would also earn me some money and reviewing opportunities (which I wasn't aware of at the time I started) and eventually brought me friendships.
I called the blog 'Real Housewife of Suffolk County', a play on one of my favourite reality TV shows 'Real Housewives of Orange County'. Readers seemed to like it as did brands I worked with (back in the day when TikTok wasn't a thing, Instagram wasn't huge and blogging was a big deal when it came to influencing others and we were the ones brands worked with).
In 2015, following a big life change and becoming a single woman and getting a job, the blog title I'd had for 4 and a half years no longer felt appropriate. It was no longer me.
I knew immediately what I wanted it to be. What felt right.
"Alis volat propriis". The first tattoo I ever got. Which happened to also be in 2015. The year I changed and my life changed.
I knew the Latin wouldn't really work. But the English translation worked perfectly.
She Flies With Her Own Wings.
It was perfect and explained exactly where I was in my life.
Flying with my own wings.
In 2022 I stopped blogging. I didn't want to stop but almost felt forced to. As a result I lost my domain name and had to repurchase with just .uk and not .co.uk. No big deal but it still bothered me.
I loved the name. It meant a lot to me. I kept the name and just got over the fact that I didn't have the domain name I wanted.
Blogging had changed at this point anyway. Tiktok and Instagram had taken over.
The community was no longer what it was. It will never be that again. But in 2023 I decided to get back into blogging, or at least try. I had to try and get back to what I loved. My big passion.
Yesterday I wrote a post and as I hit 'publish' I had this instant feeling in my gut and my heart that I needed to evolve again and that I was no longer "She Flies With Her Own Wings".
My blog content is no longer about navigating life as a single woman, facing my 30's with life completely different to what I had been used to.
I almost said "navigating life as a solo parent" and "discovering myself" but this is still content I will create.
However, now I no longer fly with my own wings. I now fly, no no, I am SOARING with a wonderful man by my side.
I'm still an independent woman, to some extent. I still solo parent, to an extent, as we don't live together yet. But I have someone to help walk, jog, run and fly through life with.
When I had that feeling in my gut and my heart I knew immediately what the knew name would be.
There was a song that had been going around in my head all week.
Let me firstly explain, I love the 90's. Not everything about the 90's. The fashion was good but my favourite thing about the 90's was the music. And thankfully it went through to the early 00's.
I know, for a fact, that when I have grandchildren and they put on the music they listen to I will be that Nan who says "Call this music? It's noise! THIS is MUSIC" and will then put on 'I'm Too Sexy' by Right Said Fred followed by '21 Seconds' by So Solid Crew.
Of course in the 90's we were introduced to Princesses of Pop.
Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera...both I liked and were iconic at the time but my ultimate favourite....Jessica Simpson.
I was a big fan. To the point I one day got caught by my brother singing along to 'I Wanna Love You Forever' into my bedroom mirror.
I was also a fan of NSync so was super excited when Jessica and Nick Lachey were getting married. I religiously watched their reality show 'Newlyweds' (I still have all of the DVDs) and purchased her book 'I do'. I tried to dress like her. I felt confident when I dressed like her.
I won't talk about my heartbreak when her and Nick split up.
Years later I still watch the episodes.
I'd finished my book last Sunday and decided to maybe change genre for a bit. I wanted to read an autobiography and decided to look her up, knowing she had one.
Silly me then realised that a couple of years ago I'd purchased it on Audible and never listened to it. So not only would I try a different genre I would also try audible, particularly happy that she narrated it.
When I wasn't listening to the audiobook I was listening to her songs. Reminding myself of how happy they made me feel, how she made me feel confident in myself.
I was waking up every morning with one song in my head.
'In This Skin'.
With where I am in life now, what I write about, how I feel, the important things for me.
To be in a place in my life where I *think* I know who I am, and who I want to be. I'm constantly learning, I think we are constantly learning. But I am no longer apologetic for who I am.
For laughing a lot, for crying a lot. For sticking up for what I believe in, for actually talking about what I believe in and what I am passionate about.
When I had the feeling in my gut and my heart I knew there was a reason I all of a sudden searched for her book. there was a reason this song was on repeat for me this week.
It had to be my new blog name.
Welcome to 'In This Skin'.
"To be worthy
To feel beautiful in this skin
Be beautiful in this skin
Love me for me
Have confidence in this skin
Be confident in this skin
So tell me what is wrong with me
I'm the girl with everything
So why am I not strong enough?
I wanna be strong enough"
"Be real, be real
See the beauty inside this skin
I don't have to hide this skin (love the skin I'm in)
I feel, I feel an awakening in this skin
Stop forsaking me in this skin"
